Do you ever find that you fret over your past mistakes? Or, are very worried about making new mistakes? Are you ever extremely concerned about high expectations of your family or your colleagues?

Do you ever do this? You see someone who is really proficient, better than you, at something you want to achieve; and you begin comparing yourself to them.We want to be better in our profession, so it makes sense to compare ourselves to those who are the best, doesn’t it? How does that work out for you?

I did a poll recently about fears and how they affect us attorneys. Despite our confidence, many of us struggle with internal fears. Overwhelmingly, the most challenging and frequent fear is that of failure.

Have you ever been asked to do something for someone, said yes, and then resented that you had to do it? Has someone ever complained to you about something, and you said "I'm sorry," when you did not actually think you did anything wrong?

Mistakes happen, right? Deadlines get missed, papers get filed wrong, an important call is not returned. Those can of course be problems, but the bigger problem is how we respond to it. Do we play the blame game? Or do we take productive steps to understand what happened and to correct it?

The dictionary defines resentment as a "bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly." Some have called it "victim anger."

The problem is that our fear can often be unknown and very powerful. We sometimes succumb to it without even knowing. How you respond to fear is precisely what differentiates you from all the others, and sets you on your path to success.

Seems like a contradiction, doesn't it? Get uncomfortable and be free? When I was young, I always wanted to have a comfortable life. To be safe, to have a relaxed, easy life. That's what some people call our "comfort zone." But is it really enough? Are we really satisfied in our comfort zone?

So many of us struggle with this problem. Our partner keeps giving us more work to do. The court schedules unexpected hearings. Our clients call, asking us to help resolve a crisis. We have so much work to do, and seemingly so little time, that we feel overwhelmed and stressed. What to do?

We face so many stresses in our professions. We encounter demands of clients; stresses about money and paying bills; too much work and too little time; and the pressures of the court, other attorneys, and our full calendar. The pressure builds. We work harder. But, we just feel more overwhelmed. We eliminate any time for ourselves. We just do not have any time for self-care. And, so the stress worsens. We get more distracted, and our focus weakens. It is a challenging downward cycle. How do we change that?