Overcoming Our Professional Fears
How serious are you about achieving your dreams? Are you willing to do what is necessary to earn the promotion, go for the raise, or seek a new and better job? What is your biggest professional goal? Why haven't you accomplished it yet?
For most of us, the answer is fear. Fear limits us from achieving what we really want. If we do not strive for a professional goal because we are "afraid," we will never accomplish it. So why not try?
The problem is that our fear can often be unknown and very powerful. We sometimes succumb to it without even knowing. How you respond to fear is precisely what differentiates you from all the others, and sets you on your path to success.
In this edition of The Free Lawyer newsletter, I discuss what fear is, and how it affects us; and give you 12 tangible steps to overcome your fear and move closer to the dreams of your life.
HOW FEAR AFFECTS US
We all have professional goals and dreams. We often do not take aggressive steps towards achieving them, sometimes utilizing excuses as the reason not to. But if we are honest with ourselves, there is often some fear that stops us from even trying to achieve our goals. We let fear prevent us from achieving our desired professional success.
Of course, we all know what fear is if we are in the woods and we see a large black bear. We sense a physiological flight or fight response. That fear is natural for survival. But in the professional context, our fears are often more hidden. Yet, the results are the same. We feel dizzy, sweat, or have a dry mouth. Our muscles get tense. Our heart beats faster. We get distracted. It can affect our sleep, cause weight gain, and inhibit our ability to function well in our profession.
WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON PROFESSIONAL FEARS
What are some of the fears we experience professionally?
A fear of failing. We may strive for that goal and worry that we won't succeed. That will affect our ego and our self-concept. We don't want to be labeled a failure!I remember how nervous I was when I tried my 1st case in court! I did not want to lose, and worried too much about what that would mean.
A fear of what others might think of us. How often do you worry about what people might think of you or say about you? What will our professional contacts say or think about us if we start this new path?
A fear of the unknown. If we try something new, we will not really know what it is like, and that in itself can be scary.
A fear of rejection. If we ask for the raise and get turned down, won't that be embarrassing? If we apply for that promotion and don't get it, how will we feel?
Fear of losing what we have. If we switched jobs, might we find we do not like the new one and wish we had the old one back? If we try a new endeavor, might we lose out financially?
All those fears are natural, normal and common. We have all felt them at some point during our careers. But they do not serve us. They do not help us succeed. So what can we do to overcome those fears and still take real steps towards accomplishing our goals?
HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEARS
Our fears are manageable. Learning how to overcome your fears can help you achieve the life of your dreams. Here are 12 practical steps for you to utilize in conquering your fears:
Identify your fears. You must understand them. Likely, your fear is based on some subconscious feeling that you have not really considered. Sit quietly. Observe your thoughts, feelings and sensations. Be mindful of what comes up, what seems to be at work here. What is it that you are afraid of? Gaining clarity of what is at the center of your fear will help you understand how to defeat it.
Accept your feelings. Reflect on them. Simply sit with your fears and understand them. Don't judge yourself; it is normal to feel that way. What is the cause of your fears? What is the story you tell yourself about yourself that makes you think you cannot overcome them? Is that story real and does it serve you?
Seek support. Your family and best friends will encourage and lift you. They want what is best for you. They believe in you, even when you are feeling inadequate. But even better, obtain professional mentoring. Get some coaching from someone who has done it before or understands how to do it best. When I was starting my podcast, I connected with someone who told me exactly how to do it and showed me how easy it was. That removed a large portion of my fear.
Embrace uncertainty. When you try something new, take on a new challenge, the results are never guaranteed. The future is unpredictable. That is okay! It is completely normal to have doubts and to be afraid; but we don't want to let that stop us from having the life of our dreams. If we are too comfortable, and are living in a world of certainty, we will never grow, change, or accomplish something new. Change your perspective on uncertainty. See it as something exciting and refreshing rather than something scary.
Visualize your goals. You are trying something new because you are not completely happy with where you are. You want something better for yourself. Fixate that goal in your mind. See it. Feel it. Is it worth challenging your fears to accomplish that dream of your life.
Eliminate excuses. Fear makes us delay our progress. Sometimes we cover up fears by making up some excuse that is not real. "I am too tired." "I do not have the time." "I can't afford it." "That's not the kind of thing I'm good at." Drop those excuses and take steps to overcome them. Establish a better sleep schedule; prioritize you time. If you have identified your fears and understood and accepted them, you know those excuses are simply a way of succumbing to your fears. Tell your excuses "no" and do not give in to them.
Choose a growth mindset. Your life now may be comfortable. But you want something more. When you are afraid, you stay stuck where you are. You worry about what if you fail. But our journey is not about always being successful. It is about growing and changing. We are never perfect. Even if we do not achieve our goals on the first attempt, we will nevertheless have learned new skills and developed more strength from trying. Develop a mindset where you want to grow and become better. The challenges help us to improve. Even if you make mistakes along the way, you are much further ahead than if you did not try. Growing requires accepting challenges, and learning from our mistakes. Discard the thought that we always have to be perfect and always have to succeed; instead, acknowledge that our journey is about growing, learning and improving.
Prepare for success. Do you know what is needed to succeed in your new endeavor? Have you done your homework? If it's a new job you are striving for, do you know what the job requirements are, and what the new company's goals are? If it's a promotion, have you reviewed your record to establish your past success and to understand what is needed in the new position? Before I started my podcast, I received training on exactly the right way to do a podcast. When I was ready to start, I knew precisely what I had to do. Develop a plan for success for your new endeavor, and then take steps to execute it. Planning and preparing weakens your fears that are holding you back.
Accept that you will fail. What is often our biggest fear? That we will fail. Understand that that is likely! We do not hit a hole in one every time; in fact we almost never do. I play a lot of golf. My goal in the fairway is always to knock the ball in the hole. But that seldom happens; but by trying, I get closer and better. We all fail. The most successful entrepreneurs have failed many times. Our failures do not make us a failure ourselves. Instead, each failure gives us information, let's us know what works and what does not. Every time we do not succeed, we have an opportunity to grow stronger and to learn new skills. Then, the next time we try something new, we are better prepared. Our fear of failure is what prevents us from accomplishing our dreams. The sooner we understand we may likely fail is when we will be much closer to achieving our dreams.
Stay present. All too often, our fears involve our projecting ahead into the future. What will they think? What will it mean if I fail? Stop focusing on the future. Stay in the moment. Make your focus what you are doing, rather than what it means. When I play golf and have a 5 foot putt, if I focus on how it will affect my match if I miss it, I am much more likely to fail. If instead, I simply focus on my stroke, I will likely hole the putt. If you stay focused on the present moment, your fears will lose their power.
Get into action. Now that we have prepared, understood our fears, and know exactly what the next step is, let's get started! We know what we need to do to succeed, and we know we have the tools and training to get there. As a trial lawyer, when I focused on the outcome of the case and thought too much about what it would mean if I lost, I was less effective. Instead if I started my work to prepare, to outline my witness examinations, and develop my arguments, I enjoying the process and was freed to effectively try the case. We all know what to do. Instead of "worrying" about what it means and what will happen, let's just get started and take the first steps on our path to success.
Stay positive. Make a conscious decision to develop a mindset of success, that we are good enough, that we have what it takes, that it is worth it. When the negative thoughts enter our head, discard them. We can control our thoughts. We can choose a positive belief that serves us rather than a negative one that holds us back. Be conscious of your thoughts and make a purposeful decision to choose thoughts of success and optimism rather than ones of failure.
Isn't it time to stop dreaming about your goals and to start making them a reality? What fear do you have that you can challenge right now?
I am working with attorneys and other professionals to help them be as successful and fulfilled in their profession as they want. I would love to learn more about you, your challenges and your goals. If you would like to chat, please set up a complementary discovery call with me here: https://calendly.com/garymiles-successcoach/one-one-discovery-call