How to Create Personal Freedom By Living in the Present
HOW TO CREATE PERSONAL FREEDOM BY LIVING IN THE PRESENT
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”
― Roy Bennett
Do you ever find you are distracted, worrying about the future and how things will turn out? Do you worry about what other people might be thinking of you? Do you ever resent what people have done to you in the past? How often do you find yourself thinking about what happened yesterday, or what might happen tomorrow? How does that make you feel?
So often, we waste our precious energy thinking about what has happened in the past, what has been done to us, or even what we might have done wrong. Sometimes we may obsess about the future, imagining bad results and poor outcomes.
One of the biggest challenges in creating personal fulfillment is living in the present and avoiding being stuck in the past or the future. Unfortunately, both of those create obstacles to our attaining personal freedom.
In this newsletter, I will discuss the problems of living in the past and, even worse, in the future; I will give you tools to get out of the past and stay away from the future. Then, I will describe ten gifts of being present in the moment, and give you tangible tools to achieve that. We all deserve to enjoy personal freedom. The best way to do that is to live in the present.
Don’t Live in the Past
At times, I have let my past control me. I felt remorse about things I had done, resentment about folks who had harmed me, and regret about choices made or not made.
When we live in our past, it is often a dark place. It is filled with shame, guilt, remorse, resentment, and regret. Of course, we have some fond childhood memories, but we primarily reflect on the past adverse events that cause us pain.
When our past consumes us, the negative emotions stop us from being everything we can be and want to be. But how do we change that pattern? If you ever feel that negative feelings from your past dominate your thoughts, here are three things you can do:
Where you have wronged someone, make it right. Make an amend. Clean up your side of the street. It will free you from that feeling of shame or guilt.
If someone has harmed you, practice forgiveness. Pray for them and forgive them. The feeling of resentment only hurts you.
If you regret some choice you have made (or some path you did not take), let go of the regret and focus on what you can learn from it. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. After that, you can choose the right direction.
We can free ourselves from our past. We deserve it. We can all have the future we have dreamed of, beginning with today.
Are you living too much in the future?
It is great to have dreams, hopes, and visions; and to plan for the future. But, are you living too much in the future? The end can cause us to worry, stress, and anxiety. We can create our emotional nightmare if we focus too much on the future and the unknown. Here are five problems we encounter when we spend too much time living in the future:
We will not enjoy the present. There is so much happiness and beauty in our present life, but if we focus on tomorrow, we sometimes miss today's gifts.
It affects our relationships. Worrying about what our friends, family, and spouse will do, how they will behave, and what will happen can create negative stress in otherwise healthy relationships.
It creates anxiety. When we start worrying about the outcome and how things that are important to us turn out, we get anxious and pessimistic. We begin to focus on everything that can go wrong, which only creates stress.
It can create adverse outcomes. Worrying about the future and projecting ahead to a negative result can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we focus on too many negative thoughts about what will happen, often the results are less optimistic than they otherwise would be.
We have no control over the future. We create frustration when we try to control something we cannot control. Time will tell. The end still needs to be written. Trying to control it simply creates frustration and disappointment.
The future is not a healthy place in which to live, don’t you agree?
Ten Gifts of the Present
The past is full of disappointment, regret, and resentment. The future creates stress, worry, and anxiety. But the present is a true gift. Being truly present, enjoying one moment at a time, and being mindful, helps to create an amazingly fulfilling life. Here are ten incredible gifts of living in the present:
The present is the only time we can truly control our attitudes, reactions, responses, and behaviors. We can decide what day we want to have today and what kind of experience we wish to enjoy. We can choose to be happy.
We can truly feel peaceful. Even in stressful times, when we are present in the moment, accepting what is, and being as present as we can with those around us, we can truly experience peace. The negative feelings of the past and future cannot disturb the peacefulness when we live in the present.
We will enjoy life one moment at a time. Life presents itself as individual experiences. Therefore, we can live and appreciate every one of them.
We will let go of what should be and accept what is. We will free ourselves of comparison and expectation, both of which can create resentment and disappointment. Instead, we will appreciate our life as it is.
We will experience gratitude. We will be grateful for each of the things we share, the sunrise, time with our puppies, and a touch of our spouse’s hand.
We will truly experience life. Life will slow down when we focus on being present in the moment.
Our relationships will improve. When we sincerely focus, listen with purpose, and are genuinely present with our friends and loved ones, we will have better communication and a more positive relationship.
We will be happier, enjoying each moment, fulfilled, and not burdened by the negative emotions of the past or future.
We will be more productive. Focused at work and intent on what we are doing, we will be more successful in our profession and career and of better service to others.
We will be able to make the changes in our life that we dream of. Our goals and visions start with the steps we take today. Now is the only time we can truly change.
Tools for Living in the Present
So, if we want to enjoy those fantastic gifts of living in the present, how do we do it? How do we stay out of the past to the future and enjoy the assistance of the present? Here are some tools:
Focus on the now. Be aware of what you are doing. Be mindful of how you feel. Notice the surroundings around you. .Notice all the details. If you are outside, feel the breeze against your face, the sun's warmth, the color of the leaves, and the grass. Turn off the distractions like the TV or your computer and savor the moment. Savor as much as you can of the world around you, the smells, the sights, the sounds, and your the feelings. The more mindful we are of our surroundings, the more we will appreciate the present.
Smile. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Showing warmth to the world around us gives us a sense of contentment and connection with the present. You are in charge of your attitude. Having an attitude of happiness and sharing it with others will make today more enjoyable.
Do something nice for someone for no reason. For example, hold the door, offer an umbrella, take soup to a sick friend, carry that older person's groceries, and pay for the order of the person in line behind you. Be spontaneous. Practicing random acts of kindness to those in the world will create a greater appreciation for the present.
Stop multitasking. It is only a distraction. It prevents you from noticing the world around you. Do one thing at a time, with a singular focus, and do it well. If you are speaking to your spouse, eliminate all distractions. If you are playing with your child, make that your only focus.
Stop worrying. As you practice being mindful, you will know when your thoughts are drifting to the future, particularly those negative results that worry you. Redirect your thoughts. Realize you have no control over the future. Bring yourself back to the present.
Dream of the future, but work hard today. We need to have goals and visions of success. Implant them in your mind. But today, focus on your action plan and work on fulfilling that dream.
Be with friends and family that lift you. Surround yourself with those who support you and make you laugh. Avoid the people who are negative and drag you down. Those who love you will help you appreciate the present's gifts.
Forgive. Forgive those who harmed you. Let the wrongs of the past go. It does not serve you to worry about what was donThee to you in the past. The wrong was entirely their fault, but allowing it to affect our happiness today is our responsibility.
Accept. Accept those around you for living their life as they choose. Accept circumstances as being exactly what they should be. We have no control over other persons and other circumstances. Resisting them just causes us tension and stress.
Practice gratitude Be grateful for your gifts and blessings. Each day write down the things you have to be grateful for. Being grateful helps you to appreciate the present.
Which of these tips is most helpful to you?