Why Be a Compassionate Professional
WHY BE A COMPASSIONATE PROFESSIONAL
Lawyers often have a reputation of being smart, confident, in control, and intensely logical. But sometimes, we have the unfavorable reputation of being arrogant, insensitive, and poor listeners.
One of the traits not focused on very much in the legal practice arena is compassion. Why is it so critical to be a compassionate lawyer? While it is so important to convey a professional image, we also should still be authentically human in our practice.
In this newsletter, I will talk about what compassion is, how it is different from sympathy and empathy, how to be a more compassionate lawyer, and why it is in our personal best interest and the best interest of our profession to strive for being a more compassionate counselor.
What is compassion?
Compassion refers to the feeling that we experience when we are confronted with another's pain and we feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Compassion includes the qualities of wisdom, patience, warmth and kindness.
Compassion is different, although related to sympathy and empathy. Sympathy means we understand what the other person is feeling. Empathy describes our ability to understand but also feel the emotions of another person.
Compassion though includes the extra desire to help relieve that situation. When we are compassionate, we empathize with someone who is struggling, and we also feel compelled to help that person to overcome what they are facing. We feel the other person’s pain, and we want to find a way to relieve it. Compassion takes empathy and sympathy to the next level.
When we are compassionate, we are aware of the pain of another person: We are emotionally moved by that suffering; we want to see that pain relieved; and we take affirmative steps to help relieve that suffering.
Some simple examples of compassion are to give up a seat to a pregnant woman, being extra polite to retail or service workers who are under pressure, and helping a friend in need to move.
But why should we be more compassionate as lawyers?
There are many benefits to us, individually and as a profession, to practicing law in a more compassionate manner. Here are just some of them:
Our clients benefit. Not only do we solve our clients' problems, but when we actively listen to them and are fueled by a desire to bring relief to a challenging situation, they truly appreciate how caring and helpful we are.
It builds resilience. When we have a passion to help our clients out of the hole they are in, we develop greater resilience both personally and as lawyers. We won't give up. Our desire to help our clients is that powerful.
We are less selfish. When I am at my worst, my focus is on me and what I want; but when I focus on being more compassionate, my attitude towards life is much more selfless and positive. It is no longer about me; it's about the less fortunate person who I can help.
We solve our clients' problems. When our actions are fueled by a desire to help our clients, we become better problem solvers for them, and less distracted by the attitude of the other lawyer, other job pressures, etc.
Our personal well-being improves. Compassion has been shown to improve our mental and physical health. In short, we feel “good” when we actively help others solve their problems.
Our reputation improves. both individually, as a firm, and as a profession, When we practice compassionate lawyering, our reputation to our clients and to the community improves drastically.
Compassion feeds on itself. When we are compassionate, we feel rewarded. We are more emotionally satisfied. It causes us to practice more compassion, and we feel more satisfied. It feeds on itself, grows and grows.
Compassion is fulfilling. Our true satisfaction as professionals comes when we solve our clients' problems in a compassionate way. We feel more fulfilled when we help others. And that fulfillment helps to relieve the stress and anxiety that often is a necessary part of the legal practice.
We are more successful. Our clients are more satisfied. They refer others to us. We are more fulfilled. Our reputation improves. As a result, more clients are attracted to us, satisfied to compensate us for the value we provide, and our practice grows and becomes more successful.
How do we grow into being more compassionate attorneys?
Practice self-compassion. Aren’t we sometimes our harshest critic? Don’t we give ourselves a very hard time when we make a mistake or don’t meet our expectations? Compassion begins within us. Before we can be compassionate with others, we must be compassionate with ourselves.
Discard envy. If we are envious of others, and want what they have, we can no longer be compassionate to those in need. Instead our focus is selfish. Getting more. Wanting what someone else has. Envy prevents us from being compassionate.
Stop judging. Sometimes we can resort to judging others who are less fortunate. Why are they struggling? Why do they have so many problems? What is wrong with them? Discard those feelings. It is not for us to judge. Instead, focus on how we can be of service.
Practice mindfulness. Be aware of what we are feeling. Notice our thoughts, when we are sliding towards a less helpful attitudes. Reset our mind and focus our thoughts on how we can be helpful to others.
Be intentional. Create a purpose for today to be compassionate with others, to understand and empathize with their feelings, and to be helpful to them. If we begin our day with a purpose of being compassionate, our actions will further that purpose.
Practice active listening. Being a good listener is in itself a step towards compassion. Look at the other person in their eyes. Be totally focused. Empathize with their emotions. Be present with them.
Take daily small steps towards compassion. Look for opportunities to help strangers in need. Do something nice for someone else without getting found out. Whether it’s opening the door for someone, offering a seat to an older person, consoling a child who fell, buying lunch for the person behind you in line, or helping the other driver who is disabled on the side of the road: all these little steps will help you to build the practice of compassion.
Compassion is often not associated with lawyers and what we do. It is one of the most important traits of a successful, caring attorney. Are you ready to be more compassionate in your law practice?