The Gift Of The Present
One of the biggest challenges in creating personal fulfillment is making it a habit to live in the present, and to avoid being stuck in the past or in the future. Both of those create obstacles to our attaining personal freedom.
Living In The Past
At times, I have let my past control me. I felt remorse about things I had done, resentment about folks who had harmed me, and regret about choices made or not made.
When we live in our past, it is often a dark place. It is filled with shame, guilt, remorse, resentment, and regret. Of course, we have some fond childhood memories, but mostly we reflect on the negative events in our past that cause us pain.
When we are consumed by our past, the negative emotions stop us from being everything we can be and want to be. But how do we change that pattern?
If you ever feel that your thoughts are too much dominated by negative feelings from your past, here are three things you can do:
1. When you have wronged someone, make it right. Make an amend. Clean up your side of the street. It will free you from that feeling of shame or guilt.
2. If someone has harmed you, practice forgiveness. Pray for them and forgive them. The feeling of resentment only harms yourself.
3. If you feel regret about some choice you have made (or some path you did not take), let go of the regret and focus instead on what you can learn from it. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can choose the right direction.
We can free ourselves from our past. We deserve it. We can all have the future that we have dreamed of, beginning with today.
Are You Living Too Much In The Future?
It is great to have dreams, hopes, and visions; and to plan for the future. But, are you living too much in the future? The future can be filled with worry, stress, and anxiety. We can create our own emotional nightmare if we focus too much on the future and on the unknown.
Here are 5 problems we encounter when we spend too much time living in the future:
1. We will not enjoy the present. There is so much happiness and beauty in our present life, but if we are focusing on tomorrow, we sometimes miss the gifts of today.
2. It can affect our relationships. Worrying about what our friends, family, and spouse will do, how they will behave, what will happen, can create a negative stress in otherwise healthy relationships.
3. It can create anxiety. When we start worrying about the outcome, how will things that are important to us turn out, we get anxious and pessimistic. We begin to focus on everything that can go wrong, which only creates stress.
4. It can create negative outcomes. Worrying about the future, projecting ahead to a negative result or outcome, can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we focus on too many negative thoughts about what will happen, often the results are not as positive as they otherwise would be.
5. We have no control over the future. We create frustration when we try to control something that we have no power over. Time will tell. The future is not written yet. Trying to control it simply creates frustration and disappointment.
The future is not a healthy place in which to live, don’t you agree?
Ten Gifts Of The Present
The past is full of disappointment, regret, and resentment. The future is filled with stress, worry, and anxiety. But the present is a true gift. Being truly present, enjoying one moment at a time, and being mindful, helps to create an amazingly fulfilling life. Here are ten incredible gifts of living in the present:
1. The present is the only time we can truly control, our attitudes, reactions, responses, and behaviors. We can actually decide what kind of day we want to have today and what kind of experience we wish to enjoy. We can choose to be happy.
2. We can truly feel peaceful. Even in stressful times, when we are present in the moment, accepting what is, and being as present as we can with those around us, we can truly experience peace. The negative feelings of the past and future cannot disturb the peacefulness when we live in the present.
3. We will enjoy life one moment at a time. Life presents itself as individual experiences. We can live and appreciate each and every one of them.
4. We will let go of what should be and accept what is. We will free ourselves of comparison and expectation, both of which can create resentments and disappointment. We will appreciate our life as it is.
5. We will experience gratitude. We will be grateful for each of the things we experience, the sunrise, time with our puppies, a touch of our spouse’s hand.
6. We will truly experience life. Life will slow down when we focus on being present in the moment.
7. Our relationships will improve. When we sincerely focus, listen with purpose, and are genuinely present with our friends and loved ones, we will have better communication and a more positive relationship.
8. We will be happier, enjoying each moment, fulfilled, and not burdened by the negative emotions of the past or future.
9. We will be more productive. Focused at work, intent on what we are doing, we will be more successful in our profession and our career and of better service to others.
10. We will be able to make the changes in our life that we dream of. Our goals and visions start with the steps we take today. This is the only time we can truly change.
Which of these strikes a chord with you?
I am now coaching clients one on one to help them to have a more fulfilling and successful life. If you would like to learn more about avoiding the prisons of the past and the future, and enjoying the freedom of the present, I would love to connect with you. Schedule a Courtesy Discovery Call.