Ten Hot Tips to Change Your Stress to Success
In my podcast, The Free Lawyer, I frequently ask my guests: “What advice would you give the lawyer sitting in the office stressed, overwhelmed, and almost burned out?”
Their answers are very insightful.
However, I still need to answer that question myself. Now it is my turn.
I know how difficult the practice of law is. We get stressed from so many different directions: demanding clients, difficult attorneys, billable hour requirements, our desire to succeed, internal competition, and an overwhelming workload, to name just a few. The hours and pressure can be simply too much sometimes.
So often, I speak to lawyers who tell me that they were so excited to pass the bar that there was a big celebration to honor them, and it was the successful culmination of a long, arduous journey. They were filled with bright-eyed enthusiasm and excitement for their new profession. But now, 3, 5, 10 years later, they are not enjoying what they are doing. They wonder why they ever chose to be a lawyer. It is not what they expected. They are stressed, frustrated, and unfulfilled.
What do I have to say to that lawyer? It Is a challenging question or answer. I hope you find solutions in the twelve keys I provided in this book's second half section. But here are the ten most important tips I would give that lawyer who is feeling ready to quit while sitting in the silo, laboring away.
You are never alone. You may feel that way. It may seem that no one else has it as difficult as you. It may look like all the other associates in the firm are succeeding and happy. But the truth is the world is filled with lawyers like you who feel stressed and overwhelmed. You are not the only one. The sense of isolation that we often think makes the pressure even more overpowering. Remember that many others are in your situation, perhaps the lawyer in the cubicle beside you.
It does not have to be this way. Oh, but how can it be? What are the answers? How do I get out of this box? Trust me, it does not have to be this way. You can find the practice of law to be fulfilling and successful. When it seems so dark, do not lose sight that it does not have to be that way.
There is always a solution. Always. Sitting at your desk, overwhelmed, you may not know what it is at the moment, but have trust that there is a solution. There is a way to find the fulfillment and freedom that you seek.
You are never stuck. You always have a choice. One of the gifts of the legal profession is the many avenues we can choose to use our legal education, talents, and experience. You have a choice. You do not have to be doing what you are doing. You are not stuck. You have the freedom and power to practice law however you want, either in your present firm or elsewhere.
Determine your essential values. What is it that causes your most significant frustration? What is it that you do not like about your present position? Do you want more independence and autonomy? Do you want a different work environment? Do you want to practice law in another area? Do you want to run your own firm? What would your dream practice look like? What would be the perfect legal position for you if you had your wish? Once we realize that we are frustrated and unhappy, we should determine the source of that. That opens the door to figuring out what we can change and what we can do differently to have a job more aligned with our critical values.
Seek fulfillment. Why did you decide to become a lawyer? I ask many attorneys that question. None have ever said to make a lot of money and, indeed, not to toil away countless hours in conflict with other attorneys, colleagues, and clients. Almost everyone says they became a lawyer to, in some way, make the world a better place, help the underprivileged, create more access to the judicial system, improve society, or better their community. We became lawyers to be fulfilled and helpful, to solve problems and develop solutions. But what happened then? We got our job and did unfulfilling things inconsistent with our original goal. What’s the solution? Try to find what area of law you would find fulfilling. Who would you like to serve? What kind of problems would you like to solve? When we practice law in an area that we find genuinely fulfilling, much of the stress and overwhelm disappears. It is no longer a job but a passion.
Be genuinely present. So often, our mind wanders to the future, a place of fear and worry. Sometimes, we are stuck in the past, with resentment and unpleasant thoughts. The key is to be truly present in the moment. Listen empathetically to the person you are speaking with. Focus singularly on your project. Enjoy who you are with and what you are doing. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings and return them to the present. The present is where we can make a change. The present is where we have happiness and joy.
Practice acceptance. Stop resisting those things we cannot change. We have no power over the other lawyer, our client, or the demanding partner. There are circumstances in our practice that may be difficult but which we cannot change. What do we have power over? Our thoughts, feelings, and our actions. Accept those things you cannot change. Change the things you can. You achieve much greater freedom when you focus on yourself and the changes you can bring to your world rather than being frustrated about other people and circumstances. The more we accept the circumstances we cannot change, the greater our freedom.
Be grateful. No matter how frustrated we are, we all have so many things to be thankful for: our health, financial security, a noble profession, our spouse, our children or our pets. Whatever it might be, we can appreciate many things in our life. We often focus on what we do not have that we want instead of truly enjoying and appreciating what we do have. Take time in your journal to express gratitude for that day's beautiful things. If you carry an attitude of gratitude with you each day, many of the stresses will be much more minor and inconsequential.
Seek support. Surround yourself with a circle of friends who support you and care for you. State connected with them. Obtain support and encouragement from those who care for you. When you need assistance, reach out to them. Also, find a trusted and wise mentor you can speak with regularly. That mentor can encourage, support, advise, and hold you accountable. You can develop clarity, confidence, and contentment. You do not have to be alone.
In your quest to transform stress into success, remember that change is possible, and a fulfilling legal career is within your grasp. Embrace these ten tips as your guiding light on this transformative journey.
So, for that lawyer who once questioned their path, remember this: you can reshape your legal career, redefine your purpose, and turn stress into a stepping stone toward a brighter, more fulfilling future. Your journey to success begins now.
Which of these tips can you start utilizing today?
If you feel lost or stuck and do not know how to break out of it, contact me. Let’s chat! https://calendly.com/garymiles-successcoach/one-one-discovery-call