Gary Miles

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SIMPLY DO YOUR BEST

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

-Don Miguel Ruiz

Do you struggle with perfectionism? Try to do everything perfectly and procrastinate because you are afraid to make a mistake? Or be too hard on yourself because your work product is not just so? Or are there some days when you do not put forth the effort at work or home?

Today, we will examine the final of the Four Agreements, “always do your best.” We will discuss what that means, what it is not, the benefits of doing your best, and explain how to achieve that.  

Ruiz suggests these Four Agreements as tools for living:

The Four Agreements

  • Be Impeccable With Your Word.

  • Don't Take Anything Personally.

  • Don't Make Assumptions.

  • Always Do Your Best.

One of the most important of these is the Fourth, which we examine today.

What does it mean to always do our best?

Ruiz explains two principles underlying the fourth agreement. These are:

  1. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

  2. Your best will change from moment to moment (it will be different when you are healthy rather than sick).

The fourth agreement is a tool for practicing the first three agreements daily, to consistently do our best to be impeccable with our word, not take anything personally, and not to make assumptions. We put forth our best effort in all that we do without expecting perfect work, without blaming ourselves for mistakes, and understanding that some days our best is better than other days.

I know I can relate to this. Using golf as an example, there are some days when my game is on. I hit every ball perfectly. It goes exactly where I want it to. That is my absolute best. I cannot, and do not, do that every day. But on some of those days, I get overconfident or lose focus. As a result, I don’t capitalize and don’t get the score that I should. I did not do my best.

On other days, I don’t have my best swing. The ball goes into the trees, and into the rough; I miss the greens. But I’m doing my best under the circumstances and trying to capitalize on every opportunity. So I may still have a decent score even though my swing was very off.

If we always try to do our best under the circumstances presented to us and with our capabilities at that point, we can be comfortable with who we are and free of any self-judgment. We must understand that some days our best will be as good as other days.

What doing our best is not!

“Doing our best” is not the same as “being the best.” We cannot always be the best. The most we have a right to expect of ourselves is that we will do our best under the circumstances daily. Beating ourselves up because we are not the absolute best;is unreasonable and leads to frustration and disappointment.

“Doing our best” is not the same as perfectionism. Indeed, it is quite different. If we start trying to be perfect, we will not be doing our best. Perfectionism leads to procrastination because we fear not doing something perfect. We will also create stress for ourselves from the failure of not consistently being absolutely perfect. So, while we try to do our best, we understand we do not strive to be perfect.

Doing our best is different from being a workaholic. When we overwork ourselves, we get tired, stressed, and worn out. As a result, we are not nearly as effective as we otherwise would be.

Doing our best is also not inflexible. It varies depending on the day and how we are feeling. Our best may change from day to day, moment to moment.

What are the gifts of trying to do our best?

There are several. As we try to become more impeccable with our word, not take things personally, and not make assumptions, we become better. Our habits improve. Over time we progress and are more successful in doing what we set out to do. 

We live life without regrets. We know that if we just do our best, we have nothing to be ashamed of or to beat ourselves up about.

Finally, we achieve a level of personal freedom. We are no longer continually defeated because we do not achieve perfection. Yet, our habits improve, we become more successful, and we rest easy at night, knowing we have done our best. We are no longer captive of our own negative thoughts. We have increasingly become more impeccable with our word, seldom take things personally, and stop assuming about others. As a result, we can achieve being “happy, joyous, and free.”

How do we strive to “always do our best?”

Here are some key takeaways or steps we can use daily to begin achieving the state where we are comfortable and always doing our best.

  1. Try to practice the first three agreements every day. Keep focused on saying and keeping your word, not taking things personally, and not assuming about other people’s thoughts and emotions. Make that your goal every day.

  2. Be flexible with your expectations of yourself. Know that sometimes you simply don’t have your absolute best. Just try to do your best under the circumstances you are then presented with. For example, if you have a family member who is seriously ill, you will not be able to do your best in your profession that day because that will sap some of your energy.

  3. Practice self-awareness. Be aware of your thoughts. Are you setting too high expectations for yourself? Are you striving for perfection? Are you slipping in your efforts to follow the agreements? Being aware of what you are capable of and what your best is and conscious of your mindset will help you to focus on doing your best without being perfect.

  4. Accept that mistakes are okay. It is okay to have a bad day. You may only sometimes do your best. Learn from it and start over.

  5. Remember that we are striving for progress, not perfection. Therefore, when we accept our mistakes, we can look for what lessons we can learn from them and try to improve from that point forward.

  6. Look for your most productive time of the day. We click better at certain times than others. Our focus is better. Channel your energy into those times of the day.

  7. Do what you love. When our work excites us, and we are fulfilled by what we do, it is much easier to do our best. It is no longer work. It is satisfying, fulfilling, and uplifting. It is effortless to do our best when what we are doing makes us feel satisfied and whole.

  8. Practice self-acceptance. All too often, we judge ourselves too harshly. Our expectations of ourselves are too high. When we make a mistake, our self-criticism is much too severe. As long as we strive to do our best, we can accept ourselves and be content with who we are and how we lived that day.

CONCLUSION

I find Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements to be very effective tools for living. Each of them helps me to live a day with greater freedom and satisfaction. Which of these suggestions do you want to try to implement first?