We all know that the practice of law can be exceedingly stressful. Some of those pressures we cannot control: are difficult clients, challenging partners, and extensive workload. But one area that causes the most stress for lawyers is their relationships with other attorneys.

All too often, lawyers, particularly in litigation, make life difficult and unpleasant for opposing counsel. It does not help our clients and increases costs and expenses. In addition, how lawyers treat each other creates stress for everyone. We can remedy this problem.

In this newsletter, I will highlight some behaviors lawyers engage in that are unnecessary and unprofessional. I will give examples of how cases can be handled right and wrong. Most importantly, I will provide nine tangible tips we can follow to help make our profession more respectful and pleasant.

Are you interested in working with me to raise the standards of our legal profession and reduce stress for all of us?

Inappropriate Behaviors by Counsel

You may have some of your own to add to this list, but these are some of the troubling behaviors that I’ve seen some lawyers engage in repeatedly to no good end:

1. Not returning calls and emails. How often do we email opposing counsel or call his office, and we never get a response? We call again and again, and still nothing. It serves no good purpose at all.

2. Not agreeing to appropriate stipulations. Sometimes some facts are undisputed, or evidence is clearly admissible, but the other attorney simply refuses to stipulate to it, which only increases expense for all parties.

3. Refusing reasonable schedule accommodations. We all have personal lives. Things happen. Someone gets sick, there is a scheduling conflict, or we need to attend something in school for our child. But yet, some attorneys will rarely agree to reasonable scheduling changes.

4. Attacking the other party or counsel personally. We all have different perspectives. We all have arguments to make. But it is not personal. Yet, some lawyers do not hesitate to call opposing counsel a liar or to attack unnecessarily the other party in a  deeply personal nature, engaging in extensive unnecessary name-calling.

5. Interrupting and arguing. I have seen depositions where counsel interrupt each other, start raising their voices, and end up screaming at each other. There is no reason to raise our voice, get angry, or interrupt. We will have a chance to be heard. Of course, those things do not occur in court because we have a referee, but yet out-of-court, some lawyers seem to take pleasure in being particularly abrasive.

6. Filing motions unnecessarily. Instead of resolving the dispute out-of-court, some lawyers love to rush to file discovery motions with the court when the problems could be much easier resolved between counsel.

7. Breaking our word. Some lawyers reach an agreement or make a representation, but they deny doing so. 

 These are just a few of what I have experienced. What other unfortunate experiences have you had?

THE RIGHT AND WRONG WAY TO PRACTICE LAW

When we work with another lawyer who is respectful and focused on problem-solving, we can find a solution faster and with less stress and pressure on all involved. 

I had a case recently where my client, the husband, and his wife simply could not communicate. They did not trust each other. They had two teenage daughters at a tender age who were caught in the middle. There were significant financial issues. They both had solid jobs and made decent money but were not wealthy. Together, they were barely able to make ends meet. There was intense disagreement about the family home, who should receive what portion, and where the two girls should live.

The other attorney was courteous, respectful, professional, and a fierce advocate. If I called him, he called me back promptly. We listened to each other carefully to gain an understanding of the perspective of the opposing party. We stipulated to issues that were not in significant dispute. We shared documents voluntarily and completely. If a document was not produced, we spoke and promptly provided it.

We had several extended phone conversations, analyzing the issues and advocating our positions. Every call was courteous. We would not interrupt each other. The goal was to build a bridge with the other side, understand each other's position, and see if there was a lane to fashion a resolution. We tried to design a plan that would be fair to both parties but also meet their approval. We worked with our clients to communicate appropriately with the other parent. Before we took any depositions, we reached an amicable agreement that resolved the custody and property issues.

Although now divorced, the husband and wife can communicate effectively with each other, and the girls have two healthy living environments. The parties saved their marital assets that would otherwise be wasted on attorneys fighting unnecessarily about unimportant issues. When they understood each other's perspectives and needs, they reached an amicable agreement, and their respect for each other improved. Their communication improved.  They can now rebuild and resume their lives free of the stress of a hotly contested case. 

On the other hand, there is also a wrong way to practice law. In another case, when I spoke with the opposing attorney, we reached an understanding, and then I received a letter from him utterly inconsistent with what we had just discussed. I repeatedly attempted to call him to speak personally with him on the phone. However, he ducked my calls. Finally, I sent him a very courteous email asking if I could have a few minutes of his time to discuss the case's issues. I want to tell you that he called me, we talked about the case by phone, and we got back on track. Instead, he sent me a letter, telling me he would not communicate with me at all other than by letter. 

When his client raised some dramatic accusation, he sent an aggressive letter, calling my client names, without attempting to ascertain the real facts. When there was some document he thought he was missing, he wrote an extended letter containing numerous unfounded accusations. Rather than trying to resolve issues cooperatively, he ran to court and filed motion after motion, almost every one of which the court denied. He was not open to discussing a resolution of the issues until after he dissipated most of the clients’ assets on needless legal arguments. His letters and pleadings mischaracterized the facts and would often poison the waters by unfairly attacking my client. When we did settle (the day of trial), most of the marital assets were gone.

What was the outcome? One aggressive letter after another. Motion after motion filed (almost all denied). Court time was wasted. He caused more stress for both clients. He delayed the result. He wasted excessive fees by both sides. The distrust between the parties increased. Marital assets wasted. To what end?

STEPS TO MAKE THE PRACTICE OF LAW LESS STRESSFUL

The practice of law is very stressful. But, sadly, attorneys make the practice so much harder by how we treat each other. So, what can we do to be more respectful and make the practice of law more enjoyable for each other? Here are some tips on what we all can do to make our practice better. 

1. Integrity always. Nothing is more important than our reputation for honesty and sincerity. I learned to practice law at a time when nothing had to be placed in writing because when the other attorney gave me his word, I knew I could rely on it. More frequently, everything must be confirmed in writing because there may be questions about whether the other attorney's verbal commitment can be relied on. When we agree, stipulate, or give our word, we should always mean what we say and stand by it. If we represent something to the other attorney, ensure it is accurate. If we reach an informal agreement with the other attorney, stick to it. Having a relationship of trust with the other attorney benefits our clients.

2. Be respectful and courteous. We should always be respectful to the opposing attorney. We can be fierce advocates. We can argue for our client's interests. But we do not need to interrupt, raise our voice, call names, or attack the other attorney or client personally. Counsel are often very courteous in court because the judge is there to referee, or the jury to watch. We should extend the same respectfulness outside the courtroom. If we treat the other attorney with courtesy, she will likely reciprocate. 

3. Listen. Before rushing to argue or respond, practice listening, listening to the judge, to our client, and specifically to opposing counsel. Let the other attorney speak first, hear and understand what is said, and summarize what he said to ensure we understand. When the other lawyer knows he has been listened to, he often is more open to hearing our response. We learn much more by listening than speaking and build better relationships with other counsel. Understanding each other's position helps both counsel to find a solution in the best interests of their clients.

4. Practice collaboration. Wherever possible, engage in collaboration rather than conflict. Both attorneys have a role of advocacy, but we also aim to solve our respective client's problems. Fighting unnecessarily hinders the process. Instead, seek to have a relationship where you and the other counsel work together, although from different perspectives, to resolve the issues.

5. Avoid conflict. Litigation, or negotiating a commercial transaction, is by its very nature contentious. There is some disagreement inherent in the process. But, we should not be trying to create additional or unnecessary conflicts. Instead, seek the resolution of whatever minor issues you can as a way of building bridges.

6. Stipulate whenever possible. If there are facts that are undisputed or documents the genuineness of which is a fact, stipulating to what we can creates goodwill and expedites the trial of the case. It not only makes the judge happy, but it also saves our clients' money. In addition, stipulating back and forth with the other party facilitates a more effective resolution of the case.

7. Agree to appropriate scheduling requests. Whether it is an extension of time, agreeing to a schedule for a deposition, or a postponement for proper reasons, where it is not contrary to our client's interests, we should attempt to facilitate the other attorney's reasonable scheduling needs. Of course, we will sometimes have scheduling problems due to our family, health issues, scheduling conflict, work pressures, or some other legitimate reason. However, we all find our own calendar and schedule so demanding that supporting another attorney's reasonable calendaring needs is respectful and will help us sometime down the road.

8. Seek a resolution at the earliest possible date. Of course, cases settle only when it is the right time. But all too often, counsel wishes to keep the fight going for their own reasons. Often the clients may be filled with anger or distrust, which the other attorney may fuel. But, we owe it to our clients and the court to seek an amicable resolution at the earliest date when it is appropriate. Whether hiring a mediator, having a four-way meeting, or direct negotiations between counsel, solving our clients' problems and achieving an amicable resolution as early as practicable is in everyone's interest.

9. Focus on being a problem solver rather than a fighter. As competitive trial attorneys, we often concentrate too much on the "battle," and we lose sight of the real issue. Both sides are trying to resolve some issue between the parties. What are solutions that might work for both sides? Both parties come from different perspectives, but we, as professional attorneys, owe a duty to our clients to focus on finding solutions to our client's needs.

CONCLUSION

The practice of law can become more enjoyable and less stressful if we focus on becoming more respectful and courteous with each other. Are you in?