One of the most powerful facets of our personality are the lessons we have learned and the feelings we’ve developed from our past experiences. Some of these are helpful, many are not. Often we are blind to them.

For us to really grow and become a different person and the person we never thought we could be, it is important to understand our past and how it has affected us, and make a choice of what we want to continue to believe in and be controlled by and what we want to discard.

This is not an easy process, but a very important one.

Here are five of some of the most important gifts you will experience from going through the process of healing your past:

1. Make room for the good. You will throw out the garbage that no longer serves you, and create space for new, healthy beliefs and values.

2. Better you. You will become a new and better version of yourself, with less feelings of fear, anxiety, stress, and remorse; and become more serene, positive, patient and tolerant.

3. Improved relationships. You will find that your relationships with spouse, children, friends, and coworkers will improve as you enjoy your new outlook on the world.

4. Inspire others. Your journey will be an inspiration to others. They will see not only the growth in you, but appreciate your more positive outlook. They will want to enjoy those gifts for themselves.

5. Freedom. Most importantly, you will begin to experience true personal freedom. You will no longer be controlled by old messages, by peoples’ opinions of you, by circumstances in your world that used to control you.

How do we get in touch with our past and the feelings it gives us now?

Find a quiet place. Have a pad of paper or a laptop in which you can make notes. Review the various stages of your life, and see what memories you have, what emotional feelings. Reflect on these questions:

What were you raised to believe?

What did your parents tell you life is all about?

What did your friends and family tell about you, who you are, your capabilities, and your limitations?

What family sayings and mottos do you still think about today?

What did your friends teach you and what messages did you receive from them?

Have you had any traumatic events in the past and how did they make you feel?

Is there anyone who wronged you? Anyone who you wronged that you haven’t reconciled?

Do you have any resentment today? Did you play any part to play in the events that led to that resentment?

This is a process, a journey, not an event, it will take time, but it’s worth it to you to uncover your past. How do you free yourself from those experiences that still influence you today? Here are three steps:

1. Throw out the garbage. Some of those messages may not be true, many may certainly be unhelpful to you. Are the stories you were told in your past by friends and family ones that help you? If they don’t support your journey now, throw them out, remove those thoughts from your mind.

2. Amends. Is there anyone you harmed in your past that you have not reconciled with? Sometimes those secret wrongs continue to gnaw at us. If you identify something you did that is still bothering you today, make an amend to the person involved and free yourself from that influence.

3. Forgiveness. You will uncover situations of people who’ve harmed you, often without any justification. You still feel pain and resentment from those harms. You can’t change the person or what they did to you. What you can do is forgive them. It is not easy, but seeking forgiveness will free you from the pain and the resentment you’ve been feeling for quite some time.

This is not an easy, or a fast, process. It is so worth it. I can help. If you feel that you been in any way restrained or held back by events or feeling from your past, please do not hesitate reach out to me. I would love to connect with you!