I did a poll recently and found that so many attorneys encounter tremendous stress in our profession- too much work and not enough time to do it; financial pressures; demanding clients; partners who want us to always absorb more work, a calendar that is always full to the brim. I know I have found it very demanding and stressful in my four decades of being a trial attorney.

But, I have found one critical component to enjoying more fulfillment as a lawyer is focusing on being of service to my clients. Whenever I feel stressed and overwhelmed by the work pressures, when I can instead direct my attention to helping my clients to achieve their goal, and do so successfully, I feel so much more fulfilled. We cannot remove all the stress from our lives, but we can redirect our attention to serving others. We will feel more content and achieve greater success when we grow to appreciate the gifts of serving others.

In this newsletter, I will share a recent war story, and then explain six powerful gifts of service.

A FULFILLING OUTCOME

I recently handled a very challenging family law case. My client, the mother, was verbally and emotionally abused by the other party, and to a limited extent, physically as well. There were three children, two of whom are minors. The father was very smart, charismatic and eloquent, but also is suffering apparently from some mental health issue. His reality was completely different than that of everyone else. He was obsessed with blaming others, name-calling, and using nasty labels. My poor client was accused of everything under the sun, some incredibly bizarre, none of those being actually true.

She was worried about the children being in his custody. Both of the minor children, at different times, apparently suffered some physical abuse, and unquestionably mental abuse. The father went through many attorneys, firing each and every one of them. The divorce and custody issues were initially resolved by agreement, but things went downhill from there. He refused to comply with anything that was ordered. We ultimately had a hearing both on his contempt for willfully violating the court order and for modification of custody. 

The day was long and stressful. The father attacked everyone in the courtroom. He was quite aggressive. My client handled that stress extremely well. The judge was excessively patient with him. Ultimately, the judge found totally in favor of my client on each and every issue. The judge thought the father had some mental health issue and directed him to receive treatment. My client received sole physical custody of her children. She was compensated for the expenses she laid out for her child and for some of her attorney's fees. The father was held in contempt and a protective order entered against him. Until he is treated successfully, he is limited to supervised visitation.

My client went through three years of misery during this contentious process. While drained, she felt so gratified by the result that she had been seeking for so long. She was particularly grateful that her children will now be safe. To me, when the emotionally exhausting trial was finished, I felt tired, but so fulfilled. I felt an amazing sense of gratitude that the legal system had worked as it was supposed to and that our services to our client were validated by such a successful result.

I felt particularly gratified that not only does my client feel protected by the system, but that her children can now have a safe, healthy and happy existence. It made what I do as a lawyer seem so special, so important, so gratifying.

This case was particularly successful. It was time-consuming. Tremendous preparation was required. But the outcome made it not only worth it, but more than that, helped me realize that one of the greatest gifts of being a lawyer is helping and serving another person in need.

Have any of you had similar stories where you felt so fulfilled by helping a client achieve her goals?

GIFTS OF SERVICE

That story is not that unusual. So often, we are blessed with many gifts from our opportunity to serve and help others overcome the obstacles they face and solve their problems. There are many blessings that come to us from being of service to others including the following:

1. We learn and grow when we serve. I have found whenever I am of service to others, I often gain more than the other person. It may seem counterintuitive, but I have learned when I am help others, particularly those in need or less fortunate, I am enriched by that experience. Particularly, my empathy grows as I observe the experiences and needs of those who may be less fortunate. I become grateful for the gifts I have, and for the opportunities to help others. My support of others who are struggling grows my desire to care for others in need.

2. We become happier when we serve others. Whenever we truly support others, and help them solve their problems, we become happier people. I, for one, can become self-centered. I can think about my own world and what I don't have, and what I want. But when I help others, I think of them and their needs and how I can be of service. I become much happier because I realize how blessed I am and am gratified by the opportunity to support them. My focus shifts from me and what I want, to the other party and their needs. My problems no longer matter so much. When we serve others, we feel useful. We have a sense of purpose in what we do and fulfill that purpose by helping them solve their problems.

3. We become more successful as we serve others better. To be great in whatever profession we have, our focus should be on serving others. As a lawyer, particularly in family law, the more I help my clients successfully navigate the troubled waters of the divorce process, the more my practice grows. Satisfied clients recommend me to others who have similar results. As our clients benefit from our services, we will grow and our practices will benefit financially. The more we give, the more we will receive.

4. We reduce stress when we help others. The stress of our profession can be overwhelming. But when we do good things for other people, our body seems to produce hormones that give us a much more positive outlook on life. The memories of the stories where we helped other people carries us through the difficult times. When we feel less stress, we are healthier in many ways.

5. We will feel better emotionally. As we serve others, our self-esteem grows. We will feel more confident. But in addition to that, we will become a person who sees the glass as half-full. We will become more optimistic and positive. Acts of service boost our mood.

6. We feel fulfilled when we serve others. Helping others gives us a sense of purpose. Our identity grows as a person who cares for others and helps them. We are no longer just a "lawyer" but a professional blessed with compassion to help others. Little is more important to us than feeling more fulfilled in our professional lives. That is why we chose this profession.

CONCLUSION

Do you want to learn and grow as a person? Feel happier? Be more optimistic? Help your practice to become more successful? Manage your stress and feel more fulfilled? Changing our focus from just the grind of the work we do, to consciously trying to serve our clients and help them solve their problems is the answer. When our practices are so stressful, being appreciative of the opportunity to be of service to our clients is one important tool for helping us to be more fulfilled.

I now have the opportunity to serve other lawyers, entrepreneurs and professionals to feel more fulfilled and to become more successful. I would love to connect with you and have a courtesy call and learn more about your goals and your challenges. Please feel free to schedule that call here: https://calendly.com/garymiles-successcoach/one-one-discovery-call

What benefits have you found from being of service?