“The only thing limiting you is yourself.”

― Ken Poirot

 Did you consider trying something new and tell yourself you were not smart enough or good enough? Did you have an opportunity to speak, present, or try a new opportunity but tell yourself you would fail? Do you see a mistake as a catastrophic failure rather than a learning opportunity? Do you hesitate to take a risk because you fear failure? Do you tell yourself you should have all the answers, and if not, something is wrong with you?

So often, we struggle with limiting beliefs. We tell ourselves a story to make an excuse as to why we should not try something new. We fear failing, so we use our limiting beliefs as protection. The trouble is that limiting beliefs prevent us from accomplishing our goals and dreams. They also stop us from being as fulfilled and happy as we want. We can overcome them.

In the fast-paced and demanding world of law, where the stakes are high and the pressure relentless, we often battle external challenges and the internal obstacles of our limiting beliefs. These self-imposed barriers can silently undermine our confidence, hinder our professional growth, and diminish our ability to reach our full potential. However, recognizing and overcoming these limiting beliefs is not only possible but crucial for lawyers to thrive in their careers. This newletter delves into conquering these inner obstacles, providing valuable insights, strategies, and inspiration to empower you in your journey of self-discovery, resilience, and success. It's time to break free from the shackles of self-doubt and unlock the true power that lies within.

In this newsletter, I will describe a limiting belief, give examples of some of the frequent ones, discuss their causes, describe how they affect us, and, most importantly, give you tangible tools to overcome your limiting beliefs.

WHAT ARE LIMITING BELIEFS?

Do you ever find yourself saying something like, “I am not very creative and not good at artistic endeavors,” or “I have terrible balance and can’t ski?” I know I have!! Those are two of my own limiting beliefs. 

Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained thoughts, ideas, or perceptions that hold individuals back from realizing their full potential or pursuing their goals. These beliefs are often negative, self-defeating, and based on subjective interpretations rather than objective reality. Limiting beliefs act as mental barriers, constraining individuals from taking action, embracing opportunities, or reaching their desired outcomes. They are stories we tell ourselves that we believe to be true that limit us somehow. They are false beliefs that prevent us from pursuing our goals and dreams. They hold us back from being who we want to become. It is a state of mind that we create that restricts us. These are stories we tell ourselves that hinder us through fear. Our Inner voice tells us we are not good enough. It questions our abilities, our skills, talent, and courage.

What are examples of some common limiting beliefs?

“I’m too old.” Or “I’m too young.”

.” I’m not smart enough.”

“I don’t have enough experience.”

“I don’t have enough time.” Or “I don’t have enough money.”

“I am not a leader.”

“That’s not something I’m good at.”

“I am not good at numbers.”

“I’m not very creative.”

“I am not attractive enough.”

“I am not good at meeting people.”

“I can’t do that.”

How do limiting beliefs affect us as lawyers? What are some of our most problematic limiting beliefs? These beliefs, deeply rooted in our mindset, can hinder our personal and professional growth. Some of the most prevalent limiting beliefs for lawyers include:

1. "I'm not good enough": Many lawyers struggle with a persistent feeling of inadequacy, doubting their abilities and fearing that they don't meet their colleagues' or clients' expectations.

2. "Success requires sacrifice": Lawyers may believe they must sacrifice their personal lives, hobbies, and well-being to achieve professional success. Unfortunately, this belief can lead to burnout and an imbalance between work and personal life.

3. "Mistakes are unforgivable": Due to the high-stakes nature of their profession, lawyers often fear making mistakes, viewing them as catastrophic failures rather than learning opportunities. This fear can stifle innovation and growth.

4. "I have to know everything": Lawyers may feel immense pressure to have all the answers and be experts in every aspect of the law. Unfortunately, this belief can create anxiety and prevent them from seeking help or collaborating with others.

5. "Networking is insincere": Some lawyers believe that networking is superficial and inauthentic, leading them to miss out on valuable connections and opportunities for growth.

6. "Work defines my worth": Lawyers often tie their self-worth solely to their professional achievements, neglecting other aspects of their identity and well-being.

7. "Taking risks is dangerous": Fear of failure and the potential consequences can deter lawyers from taking calculated risks, often necessary for professional advancement and innovation.

It's essential to recognize that these limiting beliefs are not based on objective truths but rather subjective perceptions that can be challenged and overcome with self-awareness, support, and a growth-oriented mindset.

WHAT CAUSES LIMITING BELIEFS?

Now that we know what limiting beliefs are, where do they come from? What causes them?

Some of them come from our family upbringing. Growing up, we were instilled with certain beliefs, which can evolve into our limiting thoughts. Some come from our educational backgrounds. Persons and places of authority may have made certain statements to us or planted specific ideas that we have about ourselves. Others come from experiences we have had growing up. Those beliefs and experiences progressively evolve, shape, and change, developing into our limiting beliefs.

But, most importantly, our limiting beliefs are self-created. They come from our brain’s desire to protect us from suffering pain or loss in the future. Whether due to fear or imposter syndrome, many limiting beliefs come from inside us and are designed to stop us from feeling we are failures or unsuccessful. They tell us not to try something we could be good at, so we are not seen as failures if it does not work out. We retain our limiting beliefs to protect ourselves from struggles and failures.

What causes limiting beliefs for us lawyers? Understanding these causes can illuminate the origins of limiting beliefs within the legal profession. Here are some of the most significant reasons:

1. Perfectionism and High Standards: Pursuing perfection and the high standards prevalent in the legal field can pressure lawyers immensely. The fear of making mistakes or falling short of expectations can lead to the development of limiting beliefs, such as the belief that anything less than perfection is unacceptable.

2. Law School and Legal Culture: Law school is so challenging. Law is a very competitive field. The rigorous nature of legal education and the competitive culture within the legal profession can foster a mindset of self-doubt and comparison. The emphasis on intellectual prowess and the constant need to prove oneself can contribute to the formation of limiting beliefs about one's abilities and worthiness.

3. Adverse Experiences: We may lose a case, a client leaves for another firm, or the partner criticizes us. We begin to think we are not good enough. Negative experiences can impact our mindset. These experiences can reinforce limiting beliefs, making them more deeply ingrained and difficult to overcome.

4. Comparison and Imposter Syndrome: Lawyers often compare themselves to their peers, colleagues, or high-profile individuals in the legal field. This constant comparison can fuel imposter syndrome, where lawyers feel they are not as competent or deserving of their success as others, leading to limiting beliefs about their capabilities.

5. Lack of Mentoring and Support Systems: Mentoring is critical to developing our skill set as lawyers. Sadly, too often, young lawyers do not receive the coaching and mentoring they need. A lack of visible role models or mentors who have successfully navigated similar challenges can contribute to the development of limiting beliefs. Lawyers may need guidance or support systems to challenge their assumptions and find alternative perspectives.

6. Negative Self-Talk: Lawyers may engage in negative self-talk, continuously criticizing themselves or discounting their accomplishments. This negative internal dialogue reinforces limiting beliefs and undermines self-confidence.

7. Fear of Taking Risks: What if we take that chance and fail? The legal profession is often risk-averse due to the potential consequences of errors or ethical breaches. This emphasis on risk mitigation can lead lawyers to develop limiting beliefs about taking calculated risks and pursuing new opportunities.

8. Workload and Stress: So many lawyers are overwhelmed by their daunting workload.  The demanding nature of legal work, long hours, and high-stakes cases can contribute to stress and burnout. The resulting mental and emotional exhaustion can make lawyers more susceptible to adopting limiting beliefs.

Our experiences are unique, so this is only a partial list. But many of us have experienced some of these. By identifying the causes and understanding their influence, we can begin to challenge and overcome our limiting beliefs, ultimately fostering a more empowering and fulfilling professional journey. Because limiting beliefs come from our own experiences and history and are mainly self-created, we can manage and control them.

HOW DO OUR LIMITING BELIEFS AFFECT US?

What is the effect of these limiting beliefs? Limiting beliefs harm our development, growth, and success. We fail to achieve our dreams. We are unhappy and unfulfilled. Who wants THAT??!!

These are some of the ways they affect us:

1. Self-Doubt.: Am I capable? Can I do this? Limiting beliefs erode lawyers' self-confidence, leading to self-doubt and a diminished belief in their abilities. This can hinder performance.

2. Impaired Decision-Making: We begin to question ourselves. Are we right? What should we do next? Lawyers with limiting beliefs may second-guess themselves excessively, leading to analysis paralysis and difficulty making confident decisions. This can slow progress, impact case outcomes, and limit our ability to provide effective counsel.

3. Fear of Failure: What if it does not work out right? Limiting beliefs often instill a fear of failure in lawyers. We just do not want to fail and are afraid we will. We may become risk-averse, avoiding opportunities that could lead to growth and success. This fear can prevent us from taking on challenging cases or pursuing career advancements.

4. Professional Stagnation: When lawyers hold onto limiting beliefs, they may resist stepping outside their comfort zones and embracing new opportunities for growth and advancement. This can result in a lack of professional development and hinder their ability to reach their full potential.

5. Burnout and Work-Life Imbalance: Lawyers who believe success requires sacrificing their personal lives may experience burnout and struggle to maintain a healthy work-life balance. This can lead to chronic stress, diminished well-being, and strained relationships.

6. Limited Networking: Limiting beliefs can hinder lawyers' willingness to network and collaborate with others. We are afraid to meet people or will not be able to connect. This can limit our access to mentorship, peer support, and valuable professional connections, inhibiting our professional growth and opportunities for collaboration.

7. Reduced Creativity: Lawyers with limiting beliefs may fear trying new approaches or challenging the status quo. This can stifle innovation, creativity, and the ability to find unique solutions for their clients.

Addressing and overcoming limiting beliefs is crucial for lawyers to thrive in their careers, enhance their well-being, and maximize their impact in the legal profession. By challenging these beliefs and cultivating a growth mindset, lawyers can unlock their full potential and overcome these beliefs' challenges.

TOOLS FOR OVERCOMING OUR LIMITING BELIEFS

We want to avoid passing up experiences that could help us succeed. We want to take advantage of opportunities that could help us achieve our dreams. How do we overcome our limiting beliefs?

1. Identify your beliefs. Developing self-awareness is the first step in identifying and understanding limiting beliefs. Write down your thoughts, good and bad, and everything you believe to be true. Focus on any ideas you feel strongly about that influence you daily. Writing them down will allow you to understand each one and reflect on its validity.

2. Question your belief. Examine those beliefs you wrote down. Assess the accuracy of each one. Consider whether each is true. The belief loses its power once you understand it may not be valid. Ask yourself, “What if I am wrong?” What would my world look like if this belief were not true? Is there any concrete evidence to support this belief? Does it come from a place of fear or our experience? Imagine your life if that belief were not true. Understand that your beliefs are not your truth.

3. Determine if the belief serves you. Does this belief help you succeed and grow? This is the key question. Does that belief help you to be successful or hold you back? If the belief does not serve us, is it worthwhile holding onto it?

4. Disprove the belief. Look for evidence contradicting the belief. Is it the absolute truth? Or is it a lie you tell yourself to protect yourself? 

5. Create alternative beliefs. Change that belief. Are there contrary or different beliefs that may also be true? A more helpful view that serves you better? Look for other options. For example, I wondered if I was too mature to begin my podcast, The Free Lawyer. Instead of saying, “I am too old to start a podcast,” I can tell myself, “I have a lot of experience I can share with others.” Reframe those unhelpful beliefs. Be creative. Write down alternative hypotheses to your limiting one that may also be true and more helpful to you.

6. Obtain support. Lawyers can benefit from help and guidance from mentors or coaches who provide objective perspectives, encouragement, and accountability. Connecting with others overcoming similar limiting beliefs can be inspiring and affirming. Talk to someone about your limiting beliefs. Explain what they are. Your mentor can help you see that they simply are stories you tell yourself that limit your success.

7. Empower yourself to choose a different belief. Those limiting beliefs do not serve us. They do not help us accomplish our goals. It is time to throw them in the garbage. Choose the alternative view. Select one that helps you to be your best self. You have that power.

8. Visualize a successful result. Use visualization techniques to rehearse success and envision yourself overcoming challenges mentally. You can reinforce a more empowering belief system by vividly imagining positive outcomes and embodying the emotions associated with those achievements.

By combining these tools and approaches, we can gradually dismantle our limiting beliefs and cultivate a more empowered mindset that fosters personal and professional growth. 

CONCLUSION

Our world, our brain, is full of different beliefs. We must determine which of those beliefs helps us live the life we’ve always dreamed of. All those beliefs that prevent us from enjoying the life of our dreams are the ones we should discard. Doing so gives us a genuine opportunity to create a life that exceeds our expectations. When we change our perspectives, we can change our life. There is always room for growth. 

As we navigate the complex and demanding terrain of the legal profession, overcoming limiting beliefs becomes imperative for unleashing our true potential. The journey of self-discovery, resilience, and growth requires a willingness to challenge deeply ingrained beliefs, embrace vulnerability, and cultivate a mindset of possibility. By recognizing and dismantling these self-imposed barriers, we can liberate ourselves from the shackles of self-doubt, propel our careers forward, and become catalysts for positive change in the legal realm. The path to overcoming limiting beliefs may not always be easy, but it is undoubtedly worthwhile.

We deserve to be free of these limiting beliefs and to be as fulfilled and happy as we want. Don’t we?

What are some limiting beliefs you have experienced?

I am working with attorneys and other professionals to help them be as successful and fulfilled in their profession as they want. I would love to learn more about you, your challenges and your goals. If you would like to chat, please set up a complimentary discovery call with me here: https://calendly.com/garymiles-successcoach/one-one-discovery-call