Gary Miles

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Breaking Free: Conquering the 12 Mindset Prisons

Breaking Free: Conquering the 12 Mindset Prisons

What if the pressure of your practice was no longer so stressful?

What if you no longer felt burned out and overwhelmed?

What if you felt delighted and fulfilled in your practice?

You can make that happen. And you deserve that freedom.

You face so much stress and pressure, don’t you? Onerous billing requirements, obnoxious clients, challenging attorneys, demanding partners, a complex work environment, and stringent court calendars make our lives very stressful. In addition, there's intense competition among attorneys for a limited number of clients. And you get so consumed by the pressure of winning and obtaining a successful result for your clients.

In my first book, Breaking Free, I show you how to manage that stress and enjoy the success and freedom you deserve.

Because of those pressures and influences from your past, you have developed behaviors that do not serve you. You have attitudes about yourself, what you're capable of, and, more importantly, what you're not. Those attitudes control us and prevent our progress. Resentments, fears, stress, and worry limit our happiness.

I call these "prisons." It's as if you're locked up. You cannot free yourself. You cannot grow. You have lost your freedom to choose what you want to do and how you want to do it. Even worse than an actual prison, you're often unaware of how these limitations ensnare you. In Breaking  Free, I will give you the keys to open your prisons.

These are the 12 prisons:

  1. Our Past

  2. Overthinking the Future

  3. Self-doubt and Imposter Syndrome

  4. Burnout

  5. Perfectionism

  6. Stress

  7. Fear

  8. People Pleasing

  9. Other People’s Opinions

  10. Comparison

  11. Expectations

  12. Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever encountered any of these?

For each of these, there are tools and techniques you can use to escape these prisons. In Breaking Free, I examine each of these in detail: what each is, the causes, the effects on you, and the steps you can follow to escape each prison.  In today’s blog, I will very briefly explore just two of the most common.

Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome

“Never, ever, ever, write off anything you’ve achieved as merely being lucky. You're not lucky: you're hard-working and capable. Don’t ever question it.”

–Charlene Walters

Have you ever felt that you were not as good as other people think you are?

Have you ever doubted your ability to achieve what you already have?

Do you see yourself as unworthy or not good at what you do, even though others think you are?

Have you ever felt you didn't belong?

Or even, "What am I doing here?"

I know I have struggled with some of those thoughts. This self-doubt is often labeled as "imposter syndrome." But trust me, if you have ever felt that way, you're not alone.

Imposter syndrome, an all-too-common phenomenon experienced by professionals in various fields, can be particularly pervasive among lawyers. Despite our impressive qualifications and extensive legal knowledge, training, and success, many of us are plagued by self-doubt, fearing that we do not truly deserve our accomplishments or that others will consider our expertise inadequate.

What’s Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which legal professionals experience persistent self-doubt and inadequacy despite their accomplishments, qualifications, and expertise. Lawyers grappling with imposter syndrome often fear being exposed as frauds or feeling unworthy of their professional success.  Imposter syndrome can manifest as a barrier to career advancement, causing lawyers to undermine their abilities, second-guess their decisions, and constantly need to prove themselves, ultimately impacting their confidence and overall well-being. Have you ever felt that?

How Do You Overcome Imposter Syndrome?

You can use several tools to overcome imposter syndrome and regain confidence in your professional abilities. Here’s how:

Self-Reflection and Awareness

Take the time to reflect on your achievements, skills, and strengths. Be aware of your thoughts. Recognize that imposter syndrome is a common experience and that your feelings of doubt are not necessarily grounded in reality.

Seek Support and Mentorship

Reach out to trusted mentors, colleagues, or professional support networks. Share your concerns and self-doubt with individuals who can provide guidance, reassurance, and perspective.

Keep a Success Journal

Create a journal to record your achievements, big or small. Documenting positive feedback, successful cases, or instances where you made a difference can remind you of your capabilities during moments of self-doubt.

Focus on Facts, Not Feelings

What’s your track record? What have you accomplished? When you analyze your history, you'll see that the facts do not support your imposter feelings. Instead, look for the evidence that counters those feelings.

Embrace Constructive Feedback

Instead of viewing feedback as a confirmation of your inadequacy, see it as an opportunity for growth and improvement. Recognize that feedback is a normal part of professional development and doesn't diminish your expertise.

Strive For Excellence, Not Perfection

Understand that perfection is an unrealistic standard. Embrace the idea that mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for learning and growth. Adopt a mindset of continuous improvement rather than striving for unattainable perfection.

Stop Comparing Yourself

Whenever you compare, you constantly come up short. You are all different. You all have other talents and skills. Instead, focus on your successes and achievements.

Accept Your Mistakes

‘Learn from them. In each failure, there's a lesson that helps us grow and become better. That setback is an opportunity for growth, not a definition of who you are.

Change Your Script

Accept yourself as you are. Believe in the gifts that you have. Affirm what you have accomplished and what you're capable of. Create a vision of success.

Summary

By acknowledging your accomplishments, embracing your expertise, seeking support from mentors and colleagues, and reframing your mindset, you can navigate the challenges of imposter syndrome and emerge as a more decisive, more self-assured lawyer. Let go of self-limiting beliefs, celebrate your achievements, and embark on a journey of self-empowerment that will enable you to reach new heights in your legal career. You're deserving, capable, and destined for greatness - believe in yourself, for you're an exceptional lawyer!

Burnout

“Give up the delusion that burnout is the inevitable cost of success.”

–Arianna Huffington

Have you ever felt overwhelmed at work?

That you simply cannot handle anymore?

Although you loved your profession, are you tired of it and getting frustrated now?

Have you ever felt burned out?

Burnout is common. So many lawyers are overwhelmed, overworked, stressed out, and unhappy. How can you change this?

What Causes Burnout?

One of the primary culprits is the unrelenting workload that lawyers often face. The ceaseless stream of cases and demanding deadlines leave minimal room for respite. This unyielding pressure is further exacerbated by the high-stakes nature of the matters you handle, where the outcome of a case can profoundly impact our clients' lives. The inherently adversarial nature of the legal system can also lead to emotionally taxing interactions, further draining our emotional resources of lawyers. You are always living in conflict. Moreover,  the relentless pursuit of billable hours to meet financial targets can eclipse the importance of self-care, pushing us to our limits.

Moreover, our financial security is directly related to how you do professionally. If you want to achieve your monetary goals, you must be successful in your career. As a result, you feel pressured to work harder, more hours, and more intensely to solidify your financial future. Then, of course, the boss keeps giving us more and more work despite an already full plate. Paying no heed to our demands, the partner may pile more assignments on us even though you're already overwhelmed by too much work. Work interferes with our personal or family commitments.

What Are The Warning Signs Of Burnout?

Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms of burnout is crucial for taking proactive steps toward managing our well-being. Here are some common indicators that you might be experiencing burnout

  1. Persistent Exhaustion

  2. Decreased Performance

  3. Cynicism and Detachment

  4. Reduced Motivation

  5. Emotional Rollercoaster

  6. Physical Symptoms

  7. Isolation

  8. Insomnia or Sleep Disturbances

  9. Lack of Self-Care

  10. Increased Substance Use

  11. Forgetfulness

  12. Impaired Decision-Making

  13. Lack of Satisfaction

  14. Work-Life Imbalance

Twelve Tips for Preventing Burnout

The good news is you can restore a balance. Mitigating burnout requires a multifaceted approach that combines self-awareness, proactive strategies, and a commitment to holistic well-being. Here is how:

Communicate

Discuss your workload and stressors with supervisors or mentors. They may offer guidance, suggest resources, or help adjust your responsibilities. Let your business associates and your family know what time you have, your ability to work, and your needs.

Breaks

Incorporate regular short breaks throughout the day to recharge. Stepping away from your desk and engaging in quick relaxation activities can improve productivity.

Say No

Evaluate your commitments and learn to decline additional tasks when your plate is already full. Saying no assertively is a crucial skill to prevent overwhelm. Just say no when it’s too much, and you cannot do it.

Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Avoid checking emails or working during off-hours to create a space for rest and rejuvenation. Give them your undivided attention when you're with your family or loved ones.

Prioritize and Monitor Workload

Set priorities at work. First things first, always. Plan what you need to do and when you need to do it. Keep track of your workload and recognize when it becomes unmanageable. Reach out for assistance or reevaluate priorities when necessary.

Organize Your Schedule

Plan your day. Schedule your work time, your breaks, and your family time. Make a list of what you're going to do and when. It helps.

Take Time Off

Go somewhere you love. Find time to get a break from the demands of your job. You deserve and need the time off. Disconnect from the office.

Unplug

Take intentional breaks from technology and screens to reduce digital fatigue and promote mental relaxation.

Self-Care

Make self-care a non-negotiable priority. Engage in activities that bring joy, exercise regularly, eat nourishing foods, and ensure you're getting enough sleep.

Obtain Support

Consult a professional mentor to help you find clarity, confidence, and contentment. Maintain a supportive network of colleagues, friends, and family members who can provide emotional support and a sounding board for challenges.

Celebrate Achievements

You’ve all had victories but take them for granted too often. Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small. Celebrating achievements can boost motivation and help counteract feelings of burnout.

Reflect and Reevaluate

Periodically assess your career goals, values, and overall job satisfaction. Is this the place for you? Are you doing what you want to do? Is your career aligned with your values? Make adjustments if your current path is contributing to burnout.

Summary

You encounter so many professional stresses. Our drive to succeed, demanding partners and clients, and overwhelming workloads combine to make us work harder and harder and harder. You work almost around the clock without boundaries. You suffer physically and emotionally. ‘You are frustrated and stressed, our relationships struggle, and the quality of our work declines. You do not have to be unfulfilled and burned out.

By communicating our needs, taking breaks, learning to say no, prioritizing and organizing, taking time off, unplugging, and taking care of yourself, you can enjoy success and freedom in ways you always dreamed of. By acknowledging the signs, embracing self-care, and implementing the strategies shared here, you possess the tools to transform burnout from an adversary into a challenge you can triumph over. Remember that your worth transcends billable hours, your impact reaches beyond courtrooms, and your well-being is paramount. Your journey toward a healthier, more balanced legal practice begins now!

Conclusion

Breaking Free is intended for lawyers who don’t feel satisfied or happy in business or life. It will give you tools that will allow you to be successful and fulfilled in ways you never thought possible. It will help you to identify mental prisons that entrap you and then give you concrete, actionable steps on how to overcome every one of those obstacles. You can enjoy a sense of personal freedom you have not yet experienced. You deserve it!

Would you like to be on the waitlist for my upcoming book Breaking Free to be released December 18? You can sign up here: https://upbeat-trailblazer-9238.ck.page/ab08c861d9

You may also pre-order the Kindle version now for only $.99 here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPKSQ59R