Gary Miles

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4 Tools For Overcoming Our Fear of Failure

OVERCOMING OUR FEAR OF FAILURE

Do you ever feel that your fear of failing at something professionally hampers your success? Or causes you stress?

I did a poll recently about fears and how they affect us attorneys. Despite our confidence, many of us struggle with internal fears. Overwhelmingly, the most challenging and frequent fear is that of failure.

Our fear of failure can have a dramatic impact on our ability to perform. As a trial attorney, if I give mental energy to my concern that I will lose the case, I present my evidence and argue my case in a much less effective manner. I focus on the outcome, rather than the process, and I distract myself negatively from the task at hand.

Let me give an analogy. I am an avid golfer. I played competitively for my high school and college team, and now “despite my years“ participate in club tournaments. I’ve learned that when I’m hitting over a pond, and I begin to think “if I mishit this just a little bit, I’m in the water!“, I am much more likely to hit it in the water. If instead I am confident in my shotmaking, and visualize a result where my ball lands safely on the green, I am far more likely to hit a good shot. That actually happened to me just last night. And when I visualize a positive result, and then focus on the process of hitting the ball, my chances of success are greatly increased.

So how do we handle our fear of failure? How do we overcome it?

TOOLS FOR OVERCOMING OUR FEAR OF FAILURE

I have struggled with this fear for much of my career. Haven't many of us? I have found these tools to be very effective in defeating a failure mindset:

  1. Change your thoughts and your attitude. Visualize a positive outcome, visualize a win, not a loss. Of course, we win some and lose some; and we do not know the outcome. But by choosing to visualize a successful result, we will do much better. Why not choose a thought that serves us instead of hampers us?

  2. Forget the outcome and focus on the process. Stop fixating on the outcome. When I focus on my stroke in hitting a putt, instead of what it will mean if I miss it, my stroke is much better. In the same way, in whatever your field of endeavor is, if you focus on the present, what  you do to prepare the case for trial, etc., instead of the outcome, your performance will be better. Enjoy the process of what we do best and lean into our talents.  

  3. Get into action. When we get into action, the results will take care of themselves. Focus on what we do best- outlining our examinations, interviewing  the witnesses, preparing our opening etc. Just get started, despite your fears. 

  4. Keep your target of success in your mind. You know what you want to achieve. You know your ultimate goal. When the fears crop up, push them aside, replace them with your vision of success. If we do fail, it is simply another step on our journey to accomplishing our dreams.

Which of these tools is most helpful to you?

I am working with attorneys and other professionals to help them be as successful and fulfilled in their profession as they want. I would love to learn more about you, your challenges and your goals. If you would like to chat, please set up a complementary discovery call with me here: https://calendly.com/garymiles-successcoach/one-one-discovery-call